My Life in Japan, by Tressa Kirstein
(Tressa emailed this to her friends and family, and I thought it was hilarious enough to post myself - since she doesn't have a blog.)Hello Everyone - this is entitled my life in Japan
I realize that sometimes I do not email as I do not have good stories to tell you. What I am going to do is sum up my crazy life here in Japan in one email so you can feel better about not hearing of my day to day life........haha
For starters, I live in a small apartment with several families of cockroaches who have lived in my fourplex for longer than I have. My tatamis were bought in approximately 1980, as was most of the other furniture and appliances in my house...in other words it's not pretty! Other than my roach friends, I have 2 cats named Bandit and Mungo. They are stray cats and one is named Bandit simply because the dude is missing an eye and the other, Mungo, has strange google eyes but both are good pets. I have come to the realization that both pack some sorts of diseases and worms because I do my 3-times-a-day feedings for them and continue to see their ribs poking out at me. Also living in my apartment is my bed named Cold Heat - a fitting name since the air mattress... that I call a bed... traps in the heat and cold either causing me to freeze or boil, respectively, while I am sleeping on it.
Moving outside of my lovely dwelling you would find some piles of garbage that no one will clean up and a smog-filled sky. Seriously I can count on 1 hand the clear days that I have seen in 8 months.
Now that you have an understanding of my accomodations in Japan I will move along to what I do for a living. I teach English to babies, which in my opinion is quite ridiculous, but who can complain if they are getting paid. I teach 1-year-olds - yes, I am serious. Also, I teach mainly 2-5 year olds and the odd 7 to 11 year olds. My job is to wake up every morning, put on a T-shirt and wash my face, then get in my car, drive all the way to whatever school I teach at that day on the wrong side of the road, by the way, and spend the entire day singing and dancing in front of these tiny people to songs like-Eentsy Weentsy Spider and Skidamarink, and then I drive back to my lovely apartment on the wrong side of the road. This goes on day by day, week by week.
Approximately once or twice a month I will awake to the rumblings of an earthquake. Sometimes I decide to keep sleeping and sometimes I stand up and run around thinking I might die in the next minute. I have a pretty good social life: it is the best thing about my life here. I also know that I have a lot of friends because there is only so many foreign English speaking people and we all HAVE to be friends with each other or else stay in our scary apartments. This is the only reason why people like me here.
I like to think I know some Japanese but I dont. I know enough to shoot the shit with some 3-year-olds and that's about it. As for reading it... I can make out "ramen" which is an addictive substance that I eat at least once a week and my growing belly has been warning me to get off of this noodly goodness.
HAHAHA!! Yes, there is some truth to some of what I have said, yet some of it is bologna... mmmmmmm bologna.
Just wanted to say hello and tell you I am doing fine here and I would like to hear about your lives!!!!!!!!
To end my little rant I would like to list some things that I like about Japan:
1. They sell beer in vending machines at every corner for 2 dollars.
2. I get to perform for a living - those of you who know me well will know that this would be on my list of "likes".
3. I get a lot of attention because I am not Japanese. For example: a picture taken and put up in a photo shop simply because my friends and I are white.
4. I have a cell phone and although I do not know how to use it, I am addicted to it.
5. KARAOKE - you all know I cant sing but here it is OK because you get to sit in a private room and do not have to embarass yourself in front of an entire bar.
This is pretty much the only things I like about Japan.
Just jokes again.
Tressa
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