On One Year
I'm late. Well, late on this anniversary post anyway. My one-year anniversary in Japan was celebrated in style in Thailand; March 30th.After one full year in Japan (half of my originally planned stint) I am left with a pervading sense of
ambivalent cynicism
What does this mean? I think I have been here long enough that some aspects of Japanese culture are beginning to grate on me. I am irritated to the point that I can still be ambivalent; hostility will follow perhaps by my second year...
What am I cynical about? I think the same things as I mentioned in my "On Six Months" post, but amplified. It is quite horrible that I found myself in a conversation not too long ago that involved discussion of my being happy with my employment and social situations, but that these would have to be moved to a more acceptable cultural climate for perfection.
This is partially my fault. I have allowed my Japan-experiences to fall to a disgusting level (or, as some put it, I tend to live in a peaceful Gaijin (foreigner) Bubble). Until recently I had made efforts to see little of the country (due to lack of time and the expense of domestic travel) and was not pursuing the language as wholeheartedly as I once was. Still though, I occasionally surprise myself at my ability to understand Japanese in new situations, or to read basic characters and understand them. And, with a new travel companion, I am seeing much more culture than before. I am proud to have made many Japanese friends with whom I (try to) spend time regularly; some of whom speak relatively no English.
There is talk among those who've been here a while that spending too long in Japan can change you: for the worst. It seems some who are here too long just snap, mentally, and begin behaving in ways that are uncharacteristic to them. I don't know if it's permanent. In any case, if symptoms of this are perceived on your end, please come rescue me.
Endnote: I am happy. Happier than I've been so far in this adventure. I am making a conscious effort to know Japan. I am playing with the idea of staying longer than just one year more. No need to worry, but need only to visit. ;D
All my love.
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