"You Girls Need Any Help In There?"
Our second day in Thailand we awoke at 6:30am to get back to Khoasan Road in time for a bus to the island of Koh Chang. Shopping around a little paid off and we ended up paying about $7.50 for the whole trip, ferry included. The travel agent promised that we'd be on the beach by 2:30pm... didn't exactly happen like that.Our bus was "air-conditioned" but evidently too old or too run-down to blow actual cool air. As such, we suffocated in the heat for the entire 7-hour journey. Someone decided it was necessary to stop for not one, but two hour-long breaks
because, apparently, no one was in a rush to GET THERE. ugh. We finally got to the beach around 7:30pm, safe and sound, at least.Our first night on Koh Chang was improvised. We took accommodations at the first bungalow we found and B-lined it for the water (as was necessary to wash off the day's stench). We enjoyed drinks and dinner at the 15 Palms Resort and only when we got back to our bungalow did we realize what we had settled for. I'm sure compared to the various living environments of Thailand ours
was a palace, but we weren't too impressed. In fact, we took a few minutes to chronicle our fright at the condition of our room... in the end it seemed that the ROOM had more reason to be scared of US!The next morning we had some breakfast and immediately looked for a rental scooter. As it turned
out, everyone and their dog was renting scooters; we didn't even have to present a Driver's License or wear a helmet! For 150 Baht, or about $3.50 per day, we scooted around the island. Our primary goal in this was to find 
Mam Kaibae Beach where my friends Jessica Parkes and Davis Brunt were staying. Kaibae is about 15kms from the more populous and touristy White Sands Beach, and was easy enough to find. A short walk down the beach lead me directly to Parker and Davis who were enjoying a morning swim.Parker and Davis had already scoped out lodgings for us and we were happy to upgrade to
a beautiful bungalow right on the beach. Though quaint and tasteful, the signage declared we were staying at none other than the Porn BANGalows. The Bangalows also featured Porn Restaurant and Bar, which was an o
utdoor thatched-roof establishment about 30 feet from our bangalow where we spent a significant amount of time.Day one at the bangalow on Mam Kaibae started with a sunburn. Who knew you could get a burn while laying in the SHADE, with sunscreen on, for a maximum of 20 minutes!?!?! Anyhow, the sunburn ensured dollops of fun at bedtime; throughout the following nights Tressa and I were both heard whimpering and whining.
Jessica and Davis decided to rent a scooter as well and we attempted to tour Koh Chang... unfortunately apart from the relatively driveable terrain between White Sands and Kaibae, the rest of the island is circled by mountain roads. After nearly stalli
ng out our scooter on the first major incline, in fact having to jump off as a passenger, and gaging the hairpin turns in relation to our well-worn brakes, we finally decided against the island tour and instead headed for the pub. Big surprise there.Day Two was a snorkeling adventure. It's great how on Koh Chang you can decide to go on a day-trip and just GO; there are little travel agencies every two steps. We chose a day-
trip that stopped at four islands in the area and featured an onboard BBQ and buffet. The snorkeling itself was fabulous; thank god we were warned to wear full clothing in the water or else we would have ended up with third-degree burns from swimming upside-down all day. After snorkeling for hours at Koh Rung and the other islands, we were more than willing just to veg at the bar and relax in the water at picturesque Koh Wai.Our scooter wasn't in the best of shape, nor was it a precision model to begin with, so
on Day Three we traded it in for a brand new fancypants scooter which we much preferred. We then scooted our way to Thai Cooking School - post to follow. After the class we met up with Parker and Davis (who had already taken a cooking class in Chang Mai) to shop. We walked up to Kaibae Village and bartered ourselves some deals, then took in a movie. I have to say, despite the inherent cheesiness of King Kong, I can't remember enjoying a movie more. 
The theatre was situated in a bar: dim lights, good sound system, warm, fresh air, great fish-and-chip dinner, plentiful jaggerbombs, good company, and periodic frogs and geckos passing by the screen... couldn't be better.Tressa and I had struck a bargain that if she partook in the cooking class with me, I'd ride an elephant with her (which was against my better moral judgement, but it was THAI cooking! sheesh!), but by the time our last day in Koh Chang rolled around we weren't interested in anything as physical as sitting
on an enormous beast for an hour. Instead we opted for Thai Massage: nearly three hours of bliss that cost me about $20, and was a definite high-point in our trip. Tressa and I debated about whether we could fit one of the petit Thai girls in our luggage and take her back to Japan with us... sadly, as previously mentioned, I brought only a backpack.A lazy day of massage was topped with an exuberant night of partying (our first and last of the sort for this trip, actually). We met a girl named Jolene who was stayin
g a few bungalows 
down from ours who was the epitome of Social Butterfly; eventually we had quite the following... 
young and old. We quenched our thirst with $2 vodka-redbulls at Angel's Pub in Kaibae: a grouping of thatched-roof bars with VERY repetitive music (Pattaya! Pattaya! will 
permanently be in my head) and feisty Thai waitresses (who were celebrating a birthday of one of their own). Jolene and friends tried to convince us to go to Sky Bar, the only nightclub on Koh Chang, but we were having fun at Angel's and couldn't be certain how we'd get home from Sky Bar, so we declined. Instead we met some interesting Irish backpackers with whom we enjoyed a 3am swim.Just as we were heading to bed Jolene and friends got back from Sky Bar. Apparently there
had been a huge brawl between some locals and the bar had been shut down just an hour after they had arrived. Quite the dissapointment. Jolene's "friend," Paul, evidently presumed that our night was as wasted as his, and intended to help improve it for us. Just as Tressa and I had laid 
our heads down to sleep we got a knock on our bangalow door. What with the heat, I was clothed only in tank-top and panties, and quickly wrapped a towel around myself before answering the door. I thought I was opening the door to Parker wanting some girl-talk... what I got was:"You girls need any help in there??" ** suggestive and pervy successive eye-brow raising**
Let me note that this offer was extended by a 60-odd year old man. Ew. I mean, I have no problem being social with people who are older than me, but I'm not sure where or when Tressa and I gave this dude the idea that we were interested in getting it on with him. So, I tactfully replied:
"Um, we're good thanks, but have a great night!" Upon quickly closing the door in hopes of muffeling Tressa's hyena laughter I noticed that it wasn't locking properly. So there I was, in a loud whisper, freaking out because I couldn't get Tressa to stop her hysterics long enough to check the window to see if buddy was gone so I could re-open the door to properly lock it. Turned out that he wasn't because after successfully locking the door and heading back to bed in my own hysterics we heard inebriated muttering from our porch. Filtering through the wall were such 
token sentences as:"If you girls ever stop giggling, let me know if you need some help in there..." (and I'm sure there was more pervy eye-brow raising from the darkness).
Apparently a little pissed that we were guffafing into the wee hours, our French neighbours at the Bangalows decided to implement a rude awakening at 7am. While the man yelled across the resort in French to his imaginary friend for roughly a half-hour, the woman he was with laughed to herself at his behaviour; I have a feeling we weren't the only ones they yanked from slumber.
Tressa and I squeezed in a short massage on our last morning at Koh Chang and then headed to the ferries up island. We had lunch at White Sands with Parker and Davis before saying our goodbyes and making our way to Trat Airport on the mainland. After the exhausting and painful bus trip to Koh Chang we opted for the slightly m
ore costly flight back to Bangkok. By booking online we saved over $15 each (total ticket price was only $65, travel time 50 minutes) and enjoyed a generous and immaculate ride back to BKK.How did we kill the 5.5 hours before our home flight at BKK??? - with Pizza Hut and more Thai massage, of course! This was a good start to a looooong night of travel; getting home took about 26 hours! Actually, though the flight to Thailand was 7 hours, the flight home was only just over 5, but because we were scheduled to arrive at Narita at 8:30am we didn't feel right asking a friend for a ride (they'd have to wake at about 5am to get to the airport in time). The train schedules I pre-planned didn't meet up because our flight was delayed, and so we had to wing-it. Winging-it is not good. It ended up taking us 6
hours to get from Narita Airport to our apartments - a trip that should take just over 2, by car. Ugh.All-in-all it was a spectacular trip and a great ANNIVERSARY. Thanks to Tressa for being an amazing travel companion; I hope we have many more of these experiences in the future!
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