crystal's capers

one girl's international adventures

Friday, January 23, 2009

Friendly Neighbours

Riccardo was having trouble adjusting to a normal sleep pattern after we returned from our honeymoon. He spent almost every night the first week up until midnight. One night, as he finally climbed into bed at 12:30, he woke me up with a rather unusual story...

As he sat at the dining room table, conquering the world Civilisation-style, he heard a ruckus from outside. In the footpath that runs next to our yard a couple were having a very loud argument. Not one not to get involved when he probably shouldn't, Riccardo stuck his head out the dining room window and called for the unruly pair to 'please move on,' as there were people trying to sleep. At this, the vocal gentleman (I use the term loosely) proceeded to begin kicking at our wooden fence with vigour. Riccardo noticed his protests when fence posts began coming down and promptly put a coat on over his pyjamas to have a word with the man.

Of course, upon getting to the 'cut,' as it is called in these parts, Riccardo found the enraged couple back in love, and the two proceeded to verbally harass Riki about his ever-so-polite request for quiet. Obviously drunken and despite Riccardo's ability to keep calm, the British gentleman picked up a fence post and began chasing Riccardo around the green with it. Meaning to club Riccardo over the head with his own fence post? - surely not. Thinking the worst of his idea to step into the situation, Riccardo took flight for the house; but when the well-mannered fellow persisted in knocking our front gate to bits, he decided to have another go at reason.

Finally, after repeating at length that he wasn't interested in violence, or even in getting involved in whatever marital dispute might have been taking place, Riccardo managed to calm down our fine friend, and send him on his way. Only when he stepped into the house this final time, did it sink in what a truly and ridiculously dangerous situation this might have been. One can't put anything past these neighbours.

Days later, still slightly shaken by the incident, a single misplaced memory from the evening reappeared in Riccardo's mind. He failed to remember this detail at 12:30, when reanimating the events to his sleepy wife. Initially, when Riccardo first asked the lovely couple to take their dispute elsewhere, the reply he kindly received was, 'You can shut the hell up!' To which Riccardo replied...

'Your mom can shut the hell up!'

Right. That explains a few things. Thanks for that, Kip Dynamite.

(It should be noted that, as usual, some artistic freedom was taken in the retelling of this story, but the last bit is dead honest.)

1 Comments:

    • At 7:45 PM, Blogger Tressa said…

      That is freakin hilarious!!!!!!
      Good ole neighbours eh? That story somehow reminds me of my first neighbour in Japan;)
      Tressa

       
    • Post a Comment


adopt your own virtual pet!